Wander Woman

I love driving and being on the road—just not when I’m stuck in traffic. When the road is open, I crank up the music or queue up a good podcast and let the scenery roll by. To keep my brain entertained, I sometimes play the same silly games we played as kids. I spy with my little eye… that sort of thing.

Lately, my mind has been wandering in a different direction. I’ve been noticing car names. All of them. And wondering: how on earth do they come up with these?

I imagine a group of auto executives sitting around a sleek boardroom table, staring at a whiteboard, trying to crawl into the psyche of their ideal buyer. What do they want to feel when they hear this name? Powerful? Adventurous? Responsible? Dangerous? The result is a mix of clever, aspirational… and occasionally baffling.

Here’s my take on what some popular car names seem meant to imply:

• Nissan Altima – The ultimate car. Obviously.
• Honda Civic – It’s your civic duty to drive this.
• Jeep Wrangler – You either wrangle, or you get wrangled.
• Honda CR-V – Cute Recreational Vehicle. (You know it’s true.)
• Chevy Silverado – A mashup of the horse Silver and the state of Colorado. Very Western.
• Toyota Corolla – A whorl. A vortex. You are entering the swirl.
• Subaru Outback – Perfect for exploring remote areas… or at least feeling like you could.
• Ford Maverick – A truck with a mind of its own.
• Nissan Sentra – Standing guard. On watch.
• Tesla Model 3 – Efficient. Minimal. Slightly perfunctory.
• Subaru Forester – Ideal for forest exploration. Or grocery runs.
• Hyundai Elantra – Elegant. Say it with a soft voice.
• Subaru Crosstrek – Like getting a workout while driving.
• Nissan Rogue – Probably hangs out with the Ford Maverick.
• Porsche Cayenne – Spicy. And it knows it.

Then there are the car models designed to transport you to the rugged, majestic outdoors of the American West—even if your biggest adventure of the day is a trip to a big box store. These names practically come with a postcard:

• Hyundai Santa Fe
• Chevy Tahoe
• Toyota Tacoma
• Kia Telluride
• Volkswagen Taos
• Dodge Durango
• GMC Denali

You may never leave the suburbs, but behind the wheel of one of these, you could feel like you’re headed for mountains, deserts, and wide-open skies. And maybe that’s the whole point.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I nearly missed the giant guitar-shaped building, which made me wonder: do architects and car-naming executives attend the same meetings?